dating – Church of the Scarlet Letter

On Keeping my Eyes Open

May 31, 2017

During sex, with my eyes closed, I trust the feel of their body, the sound of their breath, their moans, the feel of their heat against my skin, the pressure of our mouths pressed together. But our eyes meeting, for whatever reason, feels like asking everything at once:

Do you accept all of me? The girl with the messed up hair and the face that gets too red? The scared girl? The girl full of needs? The girl that likes you and imagines future dates? The girl who wants you to feel cared for? The girl who wants to feel cared for in return? … More On Keeping my Eyes Open

On Hooking Up — My Queer Version

April 3, 2017

Playful does not have to be insincere. For me, sexual play has become a way of questioning, processing, and healing my wounds around my queerness. … More On Hooking Up — My Queer Version

Should Christians Hook Up?

March 25, 2017

Casual sex can numb a person to the immense powerful potential sex has to offer. But it can also tap into that power. … More Should Christians Hook Up?

My new sex and relationship advice column!

February 16, 2017

Peeps! I am so excited to announce my new project: a biweekly sex and relationship advice column called Just the Tip for Rebellious Magazine! Check out my first column. And please submit me questions! Email justthequestions@gmail.com.

When I say I’m single (and polyamorous)

February 13, 2017

When I say I’m single, it feels like I’m erasing so many people who are important to me. … More When I say I’m single (and polyamorous)

On Dating Couples

December 2, 2016

Deciding to date a couple is a unique commitment and has unique risks, but also and unique benefits. … More On Dating Couples

On Couples

December 2, 2016

Recently I met this couple at a party (not Will and Jada), and we confessed we were all attracted to each other. B and I started chatting on Facebook, multiple paragraph/multiple topic things. Each time I receive a message, I’m surprised by the length, delighted by the detail, and touched by the time she took … More On Couples

What does it mean to be polyamorous?

October 13, 2016

I felt comfortable with the label once I revamped what it meant for me to be romantically committed to someone else. I no longer committed to dates every week with anyone. And I realized expectations of time, energy, and commitment are simply matters of compatibility. … More What does it mean to be polyamorous?

What does it actually mean to be non-monogamous?

September 29, 2016

Several people have reached out to me lately wondering if non-monogamy is right for them. In order to help them figure that out, I’m going to do a series of posts on my general thoughts on the topic, starting with what it means to be non-monogamous. When I started thinking through this, I figured I … More What does it actually mean to be non-monogamous?